Tuesday, June 30, 2009

real life story russian - american marriage

My name is Dina. And here is another happy internet story and I truly believe that you can find love on the internet, as I found mine on luckylovers, no matter what anyone says. That changed my life forever.

As a result of constant chatting I fell in love with a man from USA, this man later became my husband. I never would have thought it possible to love someone without seeing them in real life or touching them. Through the wonder of the internet we met and our faith in real love brought us together. We started to use internet chat privately, completely ignoring everything around us, both in our real lives and also on the net. I told him about my uneasy life. I told him about my biggest treasures in life – my two children. We agreed that I will come to see him. I t was a big step for me and didn't really know what I would face with on the other side of the world. God was me at that time. What I found was the most loving man I had ever met. We spent three wonderful months together before I had to return back home to sort out my life. I missed my children very much.

But time apart with Steward turned to be unbearable. Three months later he was ready to come to Russia for our reunion. Steward was eager to come to my country. But I realize it would be a real challenge for him. So many differences are between our countries. But as fate had pointed it, he had to return to the USA. What to do then…I had to make the decision…the decision about my children… I didn't want to leave them behind, and couldn't take them with me to an unknown country…I just did not want to hurt them in anyway…and there were also problems with my ex-husband (he did not let them to go with me).

Steward and I were finally married back in USA and it was a wonderful day. The only thing that would have made it perfect was if my boys had been with me. In summer my sons came for a holiday with my mother to the USA. They stayed for five weeks and I only wish it could have been longer…forever. But the boys are young and are at school and couldn’t be away from their school friends and surroundings. I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were here at last! After what seemed a lifetime of waiting outside their gate, I saw them, I moved towards them and held out my arms; they ran straight into them. They had traveled around the world to see me. We knew the five weeks would go quickly and so we had planned on making it as busy as possible.

The most memorable day of the holiday was the day we drove to Disneyland. It was a big surprise for the boys. We pulled into the car park of Disneyland in the morning, to let the boys have a good time there. I asked them if they knew where we were. Having a quick look around saw a Mickey Mouse picture and a Disney symbol, they screamed with delight. They couldn't believe they were in Disneyland. They love Winnie the Pooh and Tiger so much.

But the fairy tale had to come to its end and soon the day of their departure came. They didn't want to leave me, but I had no choice. In some years when they would be more mature they could make the decision where to live for themselves. I also think of the great experience they had here in USA. They saw many places, things and people. They made many new friends. So I am living now, flying here and there, sometimes feeling torn between two countries and only due to Steward understanding and support I can bear this all.

I wish, I hope, I pray soon we all be one happy family…
Dina and Steward.

Friday, June 26, 2009

intercultural marriage

if you know you’re going to be married to someone out of your culture, there are a few things to think about. Mainly, don’t do it just because it seems like it would be fun and great. It looks great from the outside, but that wow factor quickly gets old.

A successful intercultural for example russian-american marriage is GREAT, but not because of what it looks like from the outside. It’s because of how much work and time it took to overcome the obstacles to successfully communicate and understand each other well.



intercultural marriage


The experience of the marriage will probably be different for both. A husband will probably live in the country of origin and a wife will be a stranger in a new strange land. It’s important for the husband who is at home to support the new bride. Don’t make fun of or put down any lack of understanding about the culture. Try to learn some or all of your brides’s native language. Bring the positive parts of the culture into your home ....

read more at intercultural marriage

Monday, June 22, 2009

Why Russian Women?

one american gentleman opinion:


So…what makes these women so special?

This is a question often asked by men new to the world of international dating. Those guys fortunate enough to have met russian women or visited the Former Soviet Union (FSU) already know the answer!

The first thing is that a lot of those women still have “traditional” values. Russian women will want to have children and a family. Yes, she will want to be a wife and mother. Many will be totally happy in these roles alone. Many will like to work outside the home as well, some will not.

Rusian women know how to be a wife and mother! They learn these skills from their mother’s at a young age.

Most women in the FSU have a college degree or are working on one. Many have knowledge (at least to a degree) of a 2nd or 3rd language. These women are very well educated.

Russian woman will pride herself on her appearance, she will dress as nicely as she can afford, wear her make-up, and generally present herself as appealing.

How many times have you seen an overweight American woman going to the store or mall in her big bulky sweat pants, looking disheveled, as if she just rolled out of bed?
An FSU woman will NEVER let this happen to herself!

Russian woman will not let You go out of the house without a pressed shirt, nice pants, and polished shoes.

After nearly 80 years of Communist rule, the FSU has some of the most adaptable people anywhere in the world. Russian ladies, for the most part, know about living in a poor economy. They know how to make something out of nothing. They are not afraid of difficulties. In the West we tend to emphasize the outer things—money, possessions, etc… In the FSU, they more highly value the person. Friendship and inner beauty are very important to most of these women.

Compare this attitude to that of the average American woman. Many women in America today do not wish to be a wife and mother. They want to focus more on having a business career, or are more interested in dominating their partner. And how many American women have you seen out in public who look like they just woke up? Dressed in baggy sweats, hair not fixed, no make up, not even any attempt at all to make themselves presentable! Not to mention the fact that at least 25% of all American women are technically considered obese! There simply is no comparison between the vast majority of American women and the vast majority of women from the FSU! If you want to be happy for the rest of your life and married to a beautiful, intelligent woman who will value you, your family and herself then go out and find her...in Russia.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

russian women domestic abuse

This is a transcript from PM. The program is broadcast around Australia at 5:10pm on Radio National and 6:10pm on ABC Local Radio. You can also listen to the story in REAL AUDIO


Reporter: Scott Bevan
LISA MILLAR: Home is meant to be a refuge, but for tens of thousands of Russian families it's the centre of violence, even death.

Experts estimate that on average, a woman dies every hour in Russia, due to domestic violence.

While a recent study has shown awareness of the issue is high, those working to prevent family violence say there has to be a major change in Russia's attitudes and laws to confront the problem.

Moscow correspondent Scott Bevan reports.

(Sounds of Valeria singing)

SCOTT BEVAN: Valeria is one of Russia's biggest pop stars.

(Valeria singing)

SCOTT BEVAN: When she sings of a relationship descending into violence, it's more than words and music to her; it's life experience.

VALERIA (singing): "You make me think that it's all my fault".

VALERIA: I've gone through hell. My ex-husband was a real tyrant…

SCOTT BEVAN: Valeria says she and her three children suffered physical and emotional abuse and she felt as though there was no escape.

VALERIA: I had no money. I had no, any rights. We live in the countryside where there was no police station nearby.

Even if it had, it wouldn't have helped. Police don't interfere in family matters.

SCOTT BEVAN: After ten years of marriage, Valeria says she and her children finally got out.

Across Russia the outcome in households that suffer domestic violence is frequently far more tragic, according to government figures.

MARINA PISKLAKOVA 14,000 women are killed as a result of domestic violence in Russia annually.

It's actually happening every hour. Like, while we are talking, a woman will die.

SCOTT BEVAN: Marina Pisklakova is the founder of the National Centre for the Prevention of Violence. She says about 60,000 women are registered by the police annually as being victims of domestic violence. But that figure represents only a fraction of the real number.

To be registered the victim has usually suffered significant physical injuries and Marina Pisklakova says that indicates a sever shortcoming in stopping domestic violence. She says there's not even a clear definition of domestic violence in Russian law.

MARINA PISKLAKOVA: We don't have a good prevention system. I other words our legislation doesn't allow intervention until it's almost too late.

SCOTT BEVAN: To even find somewhere to escape to before it's too late, can also be difficult.

(Sound of gate opening)

SCOTT BEVAN: Svetlana Petrova is showing me through a crisis centre for women that she helps run in Himke (phonetic), a city just outside Moscow.

The simple brick building wears a plaque that reads "salvation".

SCOT BEVAN: How busy does your centre get?

SVETLANA PETROVA(translated): It gets quite busy but we like that because it means work is being done and we're helping people.

SCOTT BEVAN: Each day up to 50 people seek help here and the centre provides emergency housing for seven. Although as Svetlana Petrova explains sometimes such is the demand, extra beds have to be found.

SVETLANA PETROVA(translated): Before there were no centres like this, so women just went to the police, health care centres or relatives and friends. I don't think they had anywhere to go to get qualified professional help.

SCOTT BEVAN: According to Marina Pisklakova from the National Centre for the Prevention of Violence, many still have nowhere to go.

She says there are just 22 shelters across Russia with none in Moscow itself.

MARINA PISKLAKOVA: By the European Council standards, Russia needs to have about 15,000 shelters. So we are lacking a lot.

SCOTT BEVAN: Yet experts say the problem is more than one of facilities, it's also of attitude.

The United Nations Population Fund has recently done a study that showed 90 per cent of women think violence is a problem in Russian Families. But Karl Kulessa from the fund says awareness is one thing, doing something about it is another.

KARL KULESSA: The issue of domestic violence is seen as a private matter mostly in Russia. So I think maybe there's a feeling among women that the services are not out there and so traditionally they do not go outside the family to resolve the issues of violence

SCOTT BEVAN: Marina Pisklakova believes attitudes are changing.

She says police, for instance, take the issue more seriously and that it's just been announced special units to deal with domestic violence are to be established.

What's desperately needed, Marina Pisklakova says, are better laws to deal with domestic violence, and to try and prevent it happening in the first place.

MARINA PISKLAKOVA: It took us a long time to make this problem visible.

Now I think it's getting better but yes, while we are speaking and while we are trying to push for the law, for some women it will be still too late.

LISA MILLAR: Marina Pisklakova, the founder of Russia's National Centre for the Prevention of Violence.

And that report from Moscow correspondent Scott Bevan.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Things Never to Say or Do in Russia

Sometimes, knowing what NOT to do is even more important if you want to fit in or at least produce a good impression. Read on to find out about ten Russian social taboos.

Don't come to visit empty-handed

If you're invited over for dinner, or just for a visit, don't come to a Russian house with nothing. What you bring doesn't really matter — a box of chocolates, flowers, or a small toy for a child. Russian hosts prepare for company by cooking their best dishes and buying delicacies that they normally wouldn't for themselves. If, after all this effort, a guest shows up without even a flower, Russians believe he doesn't care.

Don't leave your shoes on in someone's home

Russian apartments are covered in rugs. Often, they're expensive Persian rugs with intricate designs, which aren't cleaned as easily as traditional American carpeting. Besides, Russians walk a lot through dusty streets, instead of just stepping from the car directly into the home. For these reasons, and also because this tradition has gone on for centuries, Russians take off their street shoes when they enter private residencies. The host usually offers a pair of tapochki (tah-puhch-kee; slippers); if you go to a party, women usually bring a pair of nice shoes to wear inside. And again, if you fail to take your shoes off, nobody will say anything. But sneak a peek: Are you the only person wearing your snow-covered boots at the dinner table?


Don't joke about the parents

Russians aren't politically correct. Go ahead and tell an anyekdot (uh-neek-doht; joke) based on ethnicity, appearance, or gender stereotypes; just steer clear of jokes about somebody's mother or father. You won't be understood.


Don't toast with "Na Zdorov'ye!"

People who don't speak Russian usually think that they know one Russian phrase: a toast, Na Zdorov'ye! Little do they know that Na Zdorov'ye! (nuh zdah-rohv'-ee; for health) is what Russians say when somebody thanks them for a meal. In Polish, indeed, Na Zdorov'ye! or something close to it, is a traditional toast. Russians, on the other hand, like to make up something long and complex, such as, Za druzhbu myezhdu narodami! (zah droozh-boo myezh-doo nuh-roh-duh-mee; To friendship between nations!) If you want a more generic Russian toast, go with Za Vas! (zuh vahs; To you!)


Don't take the last shirt

A Russian saying, otdat' poslyednyuyu rubashku (aht-daht' pahs-lyed-nyu-yu roo-bahsh-koo; to give away one's last shirt), makes the point that you have to be giving, no matter what the expense for yourself. In Russia, offering guests whatever they want is considered polite. Those wants don't just include food or accommodations; old-school Russians offer you whatever possessions you comment on, like a picture on the wall, a vase, or a sweater.

Now, being offered something doesn't necessarily mean you should take it. Russians aren't offering something because they want to get rid of it; they're offering because they want to do something nice for you. So, unless you feel that plundering their home is a good idea, don't just take things offered to you and leave. Refuse first, and do so a couple of times, because your hosts will insist. And only accept the gift if you really want this special something, but then return the favor and give your hosts something nice, as well.


Don't underdress

Russians dress up on more occasions than Americans do. Even to go for a casual walk, a Russian woman may wear high heels and a nice dress. A hardcore feminist may say women do this because they're victimized and oppressed. But Russian women themselves explain it this way, "We only live once; I want to look and feel my best."

On some occasions, all foreigners, regardless of gender, run the risk of being the most underdressed person in the room. These occasions include dinner parties and trips to the theater. Going to a restaurant is also considered a festive occasion, and you don't want to show up in your jeans and T-shirt, no matter how informal you think the restaurant may be. In any case, checking on the dress code before going out somewhere is a good idea.


Don't go dutch

Here's where Russians differ strikingly from Western Europeans. They don't go Dutch. So, if you ask a lady out, don't expect her to pay for herself, not at a restaurant or anywhere else. You can, of course, suggest that she pay, but that usually rules out the possibility of seeing her again. She may not even have money on her. Unless they expect to run into a maniac and have to escape through the back exit, Russian women wouldn't think of bringing money when going out with a man.


Don't let a woman carry something heavy

This rule may make politically correct people cringe, but Russians believe that a man is physically stronger than a woman. Therefore, they believe a man who watches a woman carry something heavy without helping her is impolite.


Don't overlook the elderly on public transportation

When Russians come to America and ride public transportation, they're very confused to see young people sitting when an elderly person is standing nearby. They don't understand that in America, an elderly person may be offended when offered a seat. In Russia, if you don't offer the elderly and pregnant women a seat on a bus, the entire bus looks at you as if you're a criminal. Women, even (or especially) young ones, are also offered seats on public transportation. But that's optional. Getting up and offering a seat to an elderly person, on the other hand, is a must.


Don't burp in public

Bodily functions are considered extremely impolite in public, even if the sound is especially long and expressive, and the author is proud of it.

Moreover, if the incident happens (we're all human), don't apologize. By apologizing, you acknowledge your authorship, and attract more attention to the fact. Meanwhile, Russians, terrified by what just happened, pretend they didn't notice, or silently blame it on the dog. Obviously, these people are in denial. But if you don't want to be remembered predominantly for this incident, steer clear of natural bodily functions in public.

These rules are a bit archaic these days. Take off shoes in apartment, offer a seat to elder, don't go dutch, and offer a help to woman is still a good idea though.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

sex tourist sentenced to 25 years

A federal judge here sentenced a wealthy New Jersey businessman to 25 years in prison on charges he traveled to eastern Europe to molest boys in exchange for money and gifts.

Forty-five-year-old Anthony Mark Bianchi, of North Wildwood, was sentenced today. He was convicted of having sex with or attempting to have sex with at least a half-dozen boys on foreign soil on trips from 2003 to 2005.

Several boys were brought to Philadelphia from their isolated village in Moldova to testify against Bianchi during the three-week trial. He has been in prison since his arrest in January 2006.

Bianchi's defense lawyer has said the defense was crippled by the government's threat to have his Moldovan co-counsel charged with witness intimidation if he appeared in Philadelphia to testify.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Nonimmigrant Visa for a Fiance(e) (K-1)

Men who are in love with Russian women might be scared of the marriage itself, simply because they think there will be a flood of paperwork to cope up with. They are intimidated by the mere thought of the tremendous volume of Visa problems that might happen. And that is why they might even back out from the marriage.

If you are one of those men, you must bear in mind that such problems should not deter you from acquiring your true love, or your love is probably not true at all. It is right that there will be paperwork to do, and you cannot avoid it, but just think about the bliss when you will actually be able to marry a Russian woman you love

You must be sure why you are marrying a Russian woman in the first place. Is it love? If it is, then there is no reason why some people's deterring comments or some amount of paperwork should stop you. Wherever you saw the Russian woman of your dreams, in her country, in yours or even on an online dating site, it is now important that you are in love. You must marry her and bring her home, disregarding all the problems that might crop up on the way.

Try to understand a bit about the Fiance Visa, because that is what you will need to know first. This Visa is also known as the K1 Visa. With this Visa, you can bring your Russian woman into the United States for a particular time. This time is accorded for you to get married, and usually extends up to three months. This time limit is sufficient for you to make your final decision about the big step.

The Fiance Visa is a non immigrant Visa. Though this Visa will grant the Russian woman you want to marry rights to stay with you for some time, it does not make her a citizen. Hence, after you have married, you must prove that you are living together as a functional family. This will enable you to fill a Petition for Alien Fiance, form number I-129F.

You will be able to take your fiancee to your home country with this petition, and then solemnize the marriage. If she has children, then the children will need to fill out petitions for K3 Visas to enter the United States. That will enable them to get full citizenship within the country. Your spouse will get full citizenship through the K4 Visa, which can be applied for after the marriage. In this way, you will be able to live together. All these Visas also allow the citizens to seek for jobs and get full citizenship rights. An Employment Authorization Document could be needed for getting employed.

All this is not so difficult as it seems. There are precise guidelines for filling up each document, do not use attorneys who can help you apply for the right, it will cost money, you can save - U.S. department of state

If you are interested in meeting Russian singles you should visit the top Russian dating web site. Don't be a victim of Russian dating scams.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

what western men and russian women think about age gap dating

Many western men want to look for a 'Russian' lady only because they have heard they can marry a very young girl this way. Most men think that these ladies want to leave their countries and will marry any man to do this. I do not think a man like this understands what is important in a lady. In most western countries, Everybody is told on TV and magazines that young in everything is the best.
A man and a much younger lady may be very happy together; they can be right for each other in spite of the difference in age.
But I think ladies here should be cautious of a man who only seeks out very young girls, because he may not be right for ANY lady.
Bob

Well, i hope that sort of men have enough brain to be able to realize that either she wants the passport or the money. So, if that’s the case, both should be happy. Once again, their own perfect choice... But then in the money case why does one need to look for a partner online if one has enough money? Not only russian (i know that you actually mean all of us by saying russian) girls are interested in money but i am sure your own local ones also... In passport case, both parties concerned should also be comfortable with this perfectly made decision to get married ;))
Vik

Once I have said already that now for family life I would prefer the man about my age. As I look for the partner, not a 'father' or a 'son'.
I feel respect to men who point adequate age preferences in their profiles. For me it doesn't, the have right reason for search and look for their true feelings and happiness but not realization of 'common' calculating ideas or possible their psychological problems. But nobody can know where we will find our right feelings and needs? Is the one younger or older... it doesn't so much matter indeed.
Natasha

there are many profiles from very young Ladies who are looking for relationship with men from 18 till' 100 saying just "i will be your Princess". A man who is really looking for serious relation will never answer to such profile…
Mat

Age is a dangerous and sometimes soul destroying thought.....
5 year difference in age use to be my benchmark...no age beyond this would be considered....this logical thought was not really logical....as I just assumed that younger girls were still playing games and wanting the whole superficial how many men they can attract nonsense....you know exactly what I mean...especially here in the UK!
However to me the idea of 29 year difference in age is pretty out of this world...If it was me I would just find it rather odd....as I know walking in the streets of London...nobody rather young would look at me....it just does not match!
Centuries ago it was accepted though to have a bride of 15-20 years difference....this was the norm....
Who knows what is right or wrong...the power of attraction cannot be measured....
Adam

what do you think about age gap dating? do you think it is possible to find a much younger (30-40 years difference) russian woman who would love you for who you are not for your bank account or pretty blue passport?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Young Russian single women

OK, so many people for so long held the belief that most Russian women are accepting of a large age gap between themselves and the men they are willing to consider for marriage, that most hot, young Russian women will accept a large age gap (10-20 years) in their profiles. Many hold the belief that it is because they search for a "serious, mature" man.

Not really that one was to prove it. It is a personal matter and most people won't admit to it, but you check not a marriage agency profiles, but go to LuckyLovers.net dating site and browse women ads, you will see that most Russian women are looking for men not more than 5 to 10 years older than themselves.

if you correlate acceptance of large age gap with the age and experience of a woman - maybe there is something in it. Also, many women who think they would be interested in marrying an older guy - never really tried to have relationship with the much older person. Therefore - they think they will be fine with it, but when they try - they do not like it. In the end - you live with the person, and not with passport or money. If you can't get along with another person and have no joy communicating with him/her - no citizenship or money is worth it.

many women in FSU confirm the 5 to 10 year age gap is the true reality. On occasion an older man surprises a lady and they still fall in love. However they are truly not seeking much older men. On many websites where the ladies are posted it is not the ladies themselves posting such large age gaps. This is the business end. Most Men searching for a Russian woman are older. Over 40. Yet the agencies use the young good looking ladies to bait the Men. If they did not put the large age gap as you see often (a 20 year old girl seeking partner 30-60 on her profile) Men would not pay to write.

It is a business and the agencies will do what it takes to get the money. They have to have their customers age fit into the ladies profile no matter what the lady is really looking for.

Men see the young beautiful girls half naked who want a Man twice (sometimes 3 times) their age. They start thinking with the little head and give up their childs college tuition to write phatom ladies who never in a million years they would have a chance with.

The reality: 18-22 year olds are not looking to be married. Much less to someone twice their age. 5 to 10 years is the real number. The rest is nothing more then a business and a fantasy to get an older Man's wallet.